In this dark silence

Sometimes when i sit alone,
In this silence which is deafening,
My thoughts take a ride to nowhere,
Perhaps am not as sane as i feel.

I hear a wind chime swaying gently,
The breeze giving it a teasing nudge,
The night is different yet nothing changed,
My mind still wanders here and there.

What if i weren’t alone in this room,
Surrounded by people known or not,
Their laughter creating an atmosphere,
Of liveliness in this lifeless existence.

Would there be joy for the moment,
Would their presence bring some clarity,
Will this loneliness wipe away,
Will I feel alive once more.

For all the togetherness I so desire,
For all the despair in my heart,
Is there someone listening I wish,
Will there be light where darkness thrives.

Virtual Reality…

I see people around me everyday. The same faces at times and yet no sign of recognition. Perhaps its my face which doesnt seem familiar or is it my eagerness to make friends?

I miss those days when friends would meet, laugh, spend hours blissfully unaware of parents worry. Am i too old for all that or perhaps i belong to another era ;). 

A thought of what has been lost and what i miss…

 

I sit staring at the screen for a response,
Waiting for any random silly forward,
Desperation and eagerness overlap,
How real or virtual am I??

Conversation replaced by chat,
Remembering numbers a thing of the past,
A click and I see you waving from Mars,
How real or virtual am I??

Reminders set to alert birthdays, anniversaries,
Calendars missing from homes and offices,
Tap to see your best friend’s new hairdo,
How real or virtual am I??

Forgotten to buy a gift for a party today,
Shop online, gift wrapped, at your doorstep,
The courier guy a known face to you,
How real or virtual am I??

Movies, music, videos and lot more,
Effortless viewing from your favourite couch,
Search and a million options available,
How real or virtual am I??

Paperless is acceptable but is friendless too,
The contact , a hug online , a miss u look,
A boon or curse, a make believe world,
How real or virtual am I??

This place I call Home…

Its always difficult to leave the one place you feel at home in. For me my parents house has been the home i am attached to. I was born here, grew up here and now i visit as often as i can. All theses years of being away haven’t made it any easier for me to leave this place. I go back tomorrow and i wish i could really squeeze some more time out of this day.

 

 

 

Been so long since i got married,
Leaving the home i was born in,
It never really stops hurting,
The memories always bring tears.

My childhood of security and innocence,
Confined in these four walls lay hidden and safe,
The stories these boundaries can tell are innumerable,
The life i lived in my sweet home is a treasure.

Slogging during exams, relaxing in breaks,
Reading, writing, memorising all under this roof,
Tears of joy, moments of sadness, agonising days,
My home has seen it all and more.

I gaze at the ceiling and find,
My whole life replayed in parts,
Here i have lain weak and in pain,
This home has given me strength again.

Each time i come home is a celebration,
Of memories, of my existence, my life,
A sense of belonging i find nowhere else,
I am what this place has given me.

We remember people, occasions, incidents,
Laugh at jokes, cry at movies, enjoy with friends,
I sit here in this place alone staring into space,
This place where i will always belong.

Once again i have to leave my treasure,
Unguarded yet safe and awaiting my return,
My eyes well up with memories and moments,
I will be back soon to cherish my life again.

We all are unique

I am writing this after i came across this little girl in a hospital. I know nothing about her except she was differently abled. The anxious parents especially the mother’s tears moved me. It made me thankful for all i have received in my life till date. If they can keep hopes up then we all can. It was an eye opener of sorts and i still keep them in my thoughts and prayers.

Life is a gift and it has to be treated with care. What we have is a miracle and the sooner we realise, the better for us.

I saw her in her mother’s arms,

The girl i knew nothing about.

Her body so weak and fragile,

But still she seemed at peace.

 

Mother’s eyes teary and sad,

Save my child is what i read in them,

Her love knew no bounds, hope limitless,

Anxiously waiting for that heart to beat.

 

A child she gave birth to,

A special one she nurtured and cared for,

While all the world looked on in pity,

She saw a perfect child in her arms.

 

We all wish to be perfect in everything,

Beauty, brains , riches and all materialistic needs,

Our eyes shy away from small imperfections,

We stare shamelessly at the healthy and wealthy.

 

We all have a desire to survive,

Our struggles different, our paths unique,

Yet compare we must and despair too,

While some of us are unable to even move.

 

It is a mad mad world out there,

Of crazy people and crazier thoughts,

Sane are those who learn to feel alive,

Insane are the ones who choose to follow.

 

Be like the mother who knows no difference,

Be like a child who smiles at strangers,

Be like the special who live for today,

Be like the father carrying burdens for family.

 

 

My life as i see it …..

I have always been open and blunt about what i wrote or felt. It may sound too harsh or downright rude to some but this is how i am. I have observed different kinds of people in daily life and some of them have made an impression however bad or worse 😦 . Here i mention one such person who was a close friend( or atleast i thought so then). She was someone i played with as a child and grew up with. Just a couple of years older than me i sort of looked upto her as any kid would. Here is my story as i see it. Its not some cheerful anecdote as some would prefer. But life isn’t all rosy you see.

 

We lived in the same society and played together as kids. She had a working mother and a doting protective elder brother who kept her rebellion in check. We went to the same school though she was in a higher class. She would come home to a locked house while my mother would be waiting with a smile for me. Her daily meal would be curd rice with beetroot. My mother would welcome her home and feed her like her own daughter. She was well aware of her likes and dislikes. Never once have i heard her complaining about having to cook for an extra person. This continued till she finished school and moved to college. She stopped coming home and we stopped playing together.

 

I would bump into her off and on but we were like strangers. I always would wonder why my mother went to such pains to give something when all she got was a cold shoulder. Perhaps if she had fed an animal she would have received some gratitude and a wagging tail of joy.

 

I had almost forgotten about this friend of mine till years later i happened to visit the city she resided in. Some old memories came to the fore and i decided to try and catch up with her. Not having her number i called her mother and spoke to my friend too. She sounded all excited and promised to drop in the next day to meet me. Being overjoyed myself, I told all in my family that i would be meeting my long lost friend the next day.

 

The next day dawned bright and sunny just like my mood. I waited for her but she dint turn up. If memory serves me right i ended up calling and was informed that she was out. I can’t explain the feelings that went through when i was told this. All i wanted was to meet her, talk about our childhood, have some fun. Perhaps she wanted no part in this.

 

I returned promising myself never ever to contact her again. They say you must try your best to mend relationships. But non one tells you what to do if the other person doesn’t wish to. Do you ever forget those people who were there for you when you were alone, hungry, in need of human touch? Do you just ignore those who stood by you and accepted you as part of their family inspite of being a stranger? Do you move on and wipe away all those memories which remind you that once you had no one to open the door for you? Does it not bother you that the very people who smiled at you when you were wanting someone are the ones whom you turn your back on??

 

I try to place myself in her shoes and find it nearly impossible to forget all those who have been a part of my life as a guiding force, a shoulder to cry on, my strength when i was falling, my family when my loved ones were not around, my friends when i needed someone to confide in. It is easy for one to walk away but then there will be that strange feeling deep down that perhaps what you did was not right.

 

I am still waiting for the day when my friend will walk upto me and smile just like old times. Can she forget how i was her messenger when she had her first crush?? I can’t…

 

Our journey… 13 glorious years

As we celebrate our anniversary today I would like to make a special mention of someone who helped us in those days when we were just getting to know each other. She is a very special friend who encouraged and supported me when i was still unsure. I still remember and treasure her presence on my wedding day and the night before. Even though we perhaps are unable to converse as frequently as we used to then, I know for sure you are around. Thank you dear for being there always 🙂

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Our paths crossed for the first time,
I wanted was to get this over with,
Mind was elsewhere,thoughts strayed,
Unprepared to share my life with you.

Soon I realised how wrong I was,
I mistook intellect for simplicity,
As we got to know each other better,
I realised you were the one for me.

Marriage took us on a new journey,
A memorable and tumultuous ride ,
The birth of our baby ,a new chapter,
A process of learning,revelation, bliss.

As we celebrate this amazing adventure ,
I thank all who helped bring us together,
People who still stand by us at all times,
Through ups and downs, highs and lows.

Happy Anniversary to us dear,
May God shower us with blessings always.

What changed???

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Image Courtesy : Google

This post is something i have personally observed and experienced. People who once forgave and forgot now dig into the past. Mistakes which once were taken as just that are now regarded as crimes. Its pointless to continue such a relationship where all are being selfish and unforgiving.

 

Few years ago we were young, innocent,                    Fresh out of school, a protected environment,
Not sure what to expect, shy, scared,curious,
That’s how we all met as strangers .

Friendship came easily ,we shared the same feelings,
We moved together, joked and had fun,
Different by nature, similar by attitude,
It was a perfect mix of the rogue and beauty.

Our paths crossed again after years,
We renewed that fiery combination with zest,
Caught up on our lives, exchanged stories,
Appraised each other, compared our girth.

What does it take to keep going as before,
A little tolerance, a pinch of acceptance,
Loads of maturity, a heart that forgives,
But most of all a desire to maintain the relationship.

Do we have all this or is this too much to ask?
Is our bond worth the efforts we are putting in?
Isn’t it easier to walk away before we hurt someone?
Or are we too selfish to accept our shortcomings?

None want to be judged, none like to be corrected,
Misunderstandings, false promises, fake sympathies,
Defending our faults and holding others responsible,
All led to the undoing of what could have been a wonderful beginning.

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