Thoughts










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Its funny how i cling to someone for my happiness.He may not even be aware of how i feel but i guess its best he doesnt realise it. Its a relief speaking to him,as though he is all i have in this Mad Mad World. Its just that unknowingly i have started depending on him for my joys,my pleasure,my smile,my laughter.

Wierd is how i call myself.Queer perhaps not in the sexual sense but otherwise. I always thought of myself as a loner,someone who doesnt fit in any group,who doesnt follow the rules,who prefers following her mind than others(Society) thoughts. But at the same time i have always yearned for love,attention,care,appreciation and at times a little pampering ;).. Is that wrong??Am i not entitled to my share of emotions,feelings??I am for sure and that is precisely why i am dependant.I know its not right and it causes more pain than needed but at the same time i have my moments of pleasure,solace.

Its like drifting away along with the wind,no sense of direction,no fear,no time limit just free floating. Haha,no drugs are required for this,all you need is a stress free mind,a complete understanding of oneself and the will to take a chance. Simple isnt it??Yes,it is and once you have all this in place all you have to do is flow…………………….

Chance and Choice

 

We all have a chance,
A chance to live,
We all have a life,
Full of dreams…

The day we are born,
We have a choice,
To survive or die….

As kids we play,
We tease,we stray,
As teenagers we lie,
We fake and try.

As we grow older,
We again have a choice,
A choice to smile,
To risk and fly high.
 
The choice may be wrong,
The moment may be gone,
But we still have a chance,
To look back or move on.

Looking back we mourn,
Moving on we hope,
Hope for better days,
Hopes keep us Alive…………..

Many times we come across people we perhaps dont like but still  tolerate  so as not to hurt their sentiments.But what about the fact that we actually dread coming across them be it online,in person or on telephone. It gets unbearable and there comes a point in time when we feel perhaps we are being too emotional. Why be so concerned and considerate when it actually takes a toll on us.What use is it if the person we are tolerating isnt someone we want in our already screwed up lives!!

All it takes is a firm,frank statement at the beginning itself so as to avoid getting into tricky situations which would never have occured in the first place. I myself have been in this situation and i find it painful and irritating at times.Thanx to my so called concern(as though i am here to save the world) i have been forced to become an agony aunt, a mentor,a shoulder to cry on etc..for all those people who are least bothered about what i feel.They are like wolves in search of their prey(me) when they are hungry(in need of  a willing/unwilling audience).Being Miserable is worse than saying No to someone.Though we must respect others sentiments and try not to hurt anyone intentionally,it also is necessary to be clear about what u feel when it comes to people who may be strangers inspite of claiming they are ur Best Friends!!

I have put my foot down now though late but its allright.Better Late Than Never. So all you people out there who have been looking out for me in times of distress,depression,advice u may not find me anymore……

Feelings,emotions…..

A small brain,a big.small body but a multitude of emotions that is within.It is not easy to control our emotions and many a times we find ourselves in an embarassing situation thanks to our outburst without a warning whatsoever. Then there are moments when we donot think before we speak and just end up blabbering whatever comes to mind. It may lead to serious misunderstandings unless the person who is the victim is someone who knows us well enough to understand that we didnot mean what we said.Not always may we be so lucky isnt it??Many a relationships have broken thanks to our unintentional utterances.

I myself have been in this situation numerous times and i regret having said what i did then.I have apologised in case i did realise then itself that what i said was wrong.But not always has this been possible and by the time i came to my senses,it was too late to make amends 😦 . Still regret having done what i did then but learnt a lesson and i try hard not to repeat that again.

Certain emotions especially negative ones like anger,envy,greed,jealousy have a tendency to erupt easily.The best way to control such emotions wold be to first start knowing yourself.Self Analysis is very important and you will come to know what actually trigers these negative thoughts.Once you relaise this,it would not be that difficult to calm oneself or tone down.We always wait for someone to understand us,but we ourselves fail to understand oneself!!! It is a fact because sometimes you realise what you are only when someone actually tells you.The best way to know oneself is to stand in front of the mirror and look at yourself.Ask yourself or rather the mirror what you are.

I am no expert but i am speaking from personal experience.After crying,fuming,fretting,getting angry without actually having any valid reason,i realised(a little late) how foolish i have been.But i am glad i atleast realised this now. “Better Late Than Never”………

According to me some Positive Emotions Would Be:

  1. Joy Best when Shared…it doubles
  2. HappinessTo be felt always…..
  3. ExcitementBe it a small thing,it doesnot matter because for you it might be the most important thing in your Life
  4. PrideNot false pride but pride which is basically felt for your loved ones when they achieve something.
  5. LoveCan also be a feeling but it is one of the most powerful ones.It makes you see everything in a new light.It maybe your parents,siblings,friends,spouse,animals,lover….