The closed door




You shut the door when I wake,
Are you shutting yourself in,
Or locking me out?

The room, your haven, my hell,
The door, a sign of our distance,
Can you blame me for my sadness?

This life I share with you for better or worse,
Which is better and what is worse I know not,
I am at the edge, neither in nor out.

For us I strive to think positive,
I see happiness where ‘un’ is hidden,
Can I be called a pessimist in this negative place?

We are judged by the lives we lead or not,
The paths we pave a road for the future,
Do we exist for ‘us’ or for the ‘world’ ?

Try harder says my mind for what its’ worth,
Perhaps the door will open says my heart,
My reasoning in a quandary I struggle within.

People change, but some hold on ,
Refusing to accept their defeat ,
At the hands of destiny…


Its’ time…

My lil one will soon turn 5. An age where innocence still exists, where the world is full of colour and not black or white. I am in no hurry to see her all grown up, ready to face the world with confidence and will. But hurry i must to tell her what can happen anytime, anyplace and by someone known or unknown.

For her each person who smiles or tries to talk to her is a harmless person, an uncle or aunt or perhaps an elder brother or even a friend. I have to tell her not all are friendly or just making conversation. I have to make her understand that some have dirry thoughts, perverse intentions or even murderous plans. How can a child as small as her judge or even fathom what goes on in anyone’s mind? We as adults cannot distinguish good from bad. So how can i tell to beware? Do i need to make her wary of all who talk to her? Should she perhaps shy away from everyone to avoid being hurt? Won’t that make her an insecure individual, incapable of trust and companionship. Can i assure her of my presence whenever she has to venture out? Will that help her grow?

In these troubling times each person i come across is looked upon with suspicion. Parents are rebuked at for giving their child a lil bit of independence. Should i hold on tighter so my darling is safe? Will that guarantee a lifetime of secure existence? I can try and teach her to be careful but is that enough?  I assure myself that no harm will befall us but is that a false sense of security?

My girl holds my hand for she knows i won’t let go. She is comfortable and assured of my steady hand as i guide her through the streets, as i take her along. I am nervous inside as life throws u into situations you can never be prepared for.

I am strong as she will gain strength by observing me. I cannot falter as she will lose that sense of hope, that feeling of being secure, that idea of a safe and peaceful world. Should i fall she will be unable to raise herself, to get up and brush herself before moving on. I will not let her sense my fear, my apprehension, my worry that anything might happen. Protect her i shall but defend her i wont, that she will learn for she will one day face it all by herself. So my dear one, i stand by you and support you but i need you to be ready for anything that will shake your ideals, break your trust, make you doubt your loved ones. Its’ a cruel, crazy, mad world out there. Be strong, be brave, cry if it helps, never fear coz fight u must for yourself and for us…

Just me…

It is a challenge writing something which is original and at the same time an interesting read.I have always tried to do so and hopefully with the help of all those who make an effort in reading my blog,i will continue to do so.This time instead of a poem or pictures i would like to tell you something more about myself.How does that sound??Boring?? I hope not…

As i have mentioned earlier i am an only child so i have had no one to learn from or imitate.Life has had its ups and downs just like everyone else.There have been moments when i have felt so frustrated and low that it makes me wish i was dead.But those are just thoughts which maybe due to hormones or just my mind being irrational.Most of the time i thank God that i am alive and kicking still.

In school i was an above average student but quite shy and dreaded the very thought of going on stage to perform or participate in any competitions.Now when i look back i feel i should have made an effort to fight that and perhaps i would be different.But the past is buried and it isn’t coming back.I admire all those youngsters who stand up with a smile and confidence even if they are scared within.Hats off to all  you boys and girls you make me jealous.

College again was uneventful with many of my classmates being there and hence i didn’t have to make much efforts to befriend people.We were mostly an all girls gang bunking lectures not always but whenever we felt like,sitting in campus commenting on all those who passed by,celebrating those special days like Rose Day,Traditional Day etc with enthusiasm.Those days were good and i miss my group.

After graduation i took up a job which wasn’t exactly what i would have settled for if i had known what was in store.My superior was a woman and even now when i think of her it makes me feel unpleasant.I was a fresher and everything was new to me.She always was on warpath yelling,demanding, expecting me to sit till late though i stayed quite far away.It is a wonder how i could manage to work for 11 months before i just had enough.I must say women though make good bosses in terms of efficiency,hard work completely lack emotions when they reach a higher position.I can never forget those days when i used to dread going to work.I just hope she has changed for the good.

After being jobless for quite a few months i joined another organisation where things seemed much better.The work environment was good, i made new friends (some of them are still in touch), learnt quite a few things and had some fun too.But then after a few years i realised things were not what they seemed.There was partiality,jealousy,quite a bit of dirty politics.There were certain practices which i wasn’t exactly happy about and well again i ended up having a female boss!!But i must say i learnt a lot not only job related but also about the world.Different kinds of people – sweet talkers,smart asses,arrogant people i saw it all there.What was sad was people who actually worked hard with honesty and sincerity were never appreciated or promoted.Instead those who hardly put in efforts but instead were always trying to please the boss seemed to get it all.

At present i am a happily married woman enjoying life,doing all that i love doing and having a wonderful life!!!

“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,
Love like you’ll never be hurt,
Sing like there’s nobody listening,
And live like it’s heaven on earth.”
William W. Purkey

Students till the end…

Life teaches us lessons each day,
some are easy,some real hard,
some we realise later on as time passes by,
but learn we must if we want to survive.

It punishes us if we forget what we learnt,
scolds us in its own way when we stumble,
exams come all of a sudden without a hint,
pass we must or we take a step behind.

It is a strict teacher and scares us all,
we all compete to excel and make us proud,
hard work will bear results in the end,
we will become scholars as we move forward.

Till the last day of our lives we learn,
some we accept some we fail to realise,
those of us who pay attention to each detail,
live better and are happier than the rest of us.

It is never too late to begin gathering knowledge,
our brain is ever ready to process what it is fed,
begin today while you still have time,
make living simpler and beautiful from now on…

Life is a game you win some and lose,
players are many without a referee,
you cheat,you betray,you kick,you kill,
you fight,you lie,you try,you cry.

It is exciting and full of adventure,
each day unfolds with new surprises.
Time is priceless and moves quickly,
each moment is used preciously.

Love comes and captures your imagination,
your heart beats wildly beyond comparison.
Emotions galore and the world to explore,
thoughts so many words cannot control.

Life takes on a new meaning,
love gives it a new beginning.
Desire,passion engulfs us sometime,
fantasies,dreams become reality.

The road is full of stones and thorns,
the path is untrodden and unknown.
Carefully you tread through darkness,
make your way towards the light.

Life has its mysteries and suspense,
it plays pranks and drives you to madness.
Still you move forward with a will,
look back at your own peril.

One misstep and you lose a turn,
wait for ages to start your own.
Try try and try till the finish,
fall,get up and move till you perish.

Life,death and after…

The time had come,
to leave and go,
the time had come,
to play a new role.

The past may haunt me,
The future may scare me,
The present is passing by,
Oh!The clock is ticking why?

I was a bad person,
I hurt so many and lied,
I laughed when others cried,
I let myself stand and smile.

I did what i wanted to,
I cared not what it led to,
I was happy doing things,
I never wanted to let go.

The day came to face the world,
the day i had to face the truth,
The sins of yesterday stood up,
The past had caught up atlast.

Would anyone accept my story,
Would someone give me a chance,
Would i hold my head high,
Would i just suffer and die?

I waited for justice to be made,
I hoped for some respite from the shame,
I wished someone prayed for me to survive,
I dreamt that i would remain alive.

I opened my eyes after a long while,
I saw brightness so white,
I was just a spirit in the breeze,
I died and my soul became free.

Human or??

A smile comes to my lips,
A tear falls unnoticed,
I laugh when i look back,
Its time to move on…

Small things can bring cheer,
I have no reason to fear.
I live like i was born today,
I dont want to grow up ever.

Innocence is lost in a moment,
It holds no value today.
Life is taken for granted,
Humans are a cursed breed.

Taking one’s life is normal,
Adultery’s sign of maturity.
Heartbreaks without thought,
Feelings are for the meek.

Everywhere i look i see deception,
Cunning looks follow me everywhere.
Is Life worth living i wonder,
has Love lost its way??

God created us with care,
He gave us a Heart that breathes.
He gave us conscience to follow,
to help us choose wisely.

Do we treat our bodies with respect??
Do we deserve this existence??
Questions like these haunt me,
Can someone answer me???

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