Born to be Me…

 

Till now i have shown myself through posts, poems, thoughts written about people i have come across or observed. Today i bring forth what i feel i am as a person. It may seem like i am boasting and that’s alright. We all know ourselves better than anyone else does so why not let it out in the open ;). One life, one soul, one chance to be me!!!

Bold but still scared to face fear,
Beautiful as I see myself ,
Strong as any woman should be,
Sensitive not something I pride.

A dreamer and hopeful always,
A humour which backfires at times,
A sarcasm that can be wicked,
A frank , outspoken , broadminded lady.

I regret not what I may have done,
I love myself more than I reveal,
I stand by my decisions and mistakes,
I live to be me and free I shall be.

Being

 

Been away so long but never far,
been distant but yet never out of reach,
been missing action but never disappeared,
been absent from here but never left.

Wanting to be different has been difficult,
challenging myself has made life complicated,
striving to achieve what i myself don’t know,
wishing for success where there is none.

Waiting for a silver lining within dark clouds,
eyeing the horizon with anticipation and eagerness,
watching the sun go down and twilight appear,
gazing at the moon creeping through the mountains.

Thinking today is when i will do it perhaps,
wondering what i want to accomplish so suddenly,
dreaming my way through glory never to be had,
hoping against hope for something which isn’t mine…

Nobody feels

Nobody sees a simple girl as she  passes by,
though no one lacks an observant pair of eyes,
all they see is some pointless object,
of no value and useless in every way.

Nobody sees her smile that lights her face,
a joy that will take away all those pains,
see they might a blonde dressed to please,
makeup hiding blemishes and what not.

Nobody cares what she is going through,
each day a struggle that she must face,
instead they see the cars gleaming in the sun,
owners reclining while chaffeurs sweat it out.

Nobody knows what is happening outside,
the streets so unsafe,the crowds unstable,
everybody sights an actor fighting some bad guy,
just for the cameras, the money and all the fame.

Nobody hears the bombs dropping around the corner,
the shudder of mother earth being wrecked apart,
what they see is an occasion to click and boast,
they witnessed a catastrophe and escaped unhurt.

Nobody lies awake wondering how the soldiers fare,
guarding our borders with courage and valour,
they lack love for their Motherland conspicuous by its absence,
they can never feel the ache in a mother’s heart.

Oasis or Mirage

I walked through the desert,
throat parched lips dry heat killing me
i saw something shining in the distance,
something flowing had i found an oasis?

Crawling on all fours i made my way painfully,
the sand pulling me in i have no strength to fight back,
the sun casting its powerful rays all over me,
i would surely perish here i thought.

I look out towards the horizon once more,
eyes searching for some sign of life where none exist,
my feet burning while scorpions stung me,
i am losing all sense as i make my way slowly.

There comes a camel rider so high and regal,
will he be my saviour in this scorching heat,
i wait in anticipation as he comes closer,
but alas what i saw was a trick not reality.

The oasis i saw was just a mirage,
an illusion meant to confuse and upset me,
conquering my disappointments and my protesting body,
i step forward once again in search of an Oasis.
 

Through thick and thin

Some relationships are taken for granted.Only when the person concerned is distant you realise what he/she means to you.People who are around you always and actually care are sometimes ignored and people who seem least concerned are always on your mind.It is strange but true.It took me years to acknowledge and accept how much i need him(My dear Husband) in my life.I guess our shift to a new place helped in strengthening our bond.

So long since i have known you,
can still remember those initial days,
started of as friends turned into lovers,
a journey which is meant to continue for long.

Time has passed and so much has changed,
a life of roses and thorns has begun,
carefully picking up pieces of our past,
we have gone through a lot since then.

Earlier everything we both took for granted,
all that was handed to us without asking,
parents supported and stood by us always,
a comfortable existence wihout too much strife.

One day we found ourselves all alone,
away from the care and attention of our family,
caught in a place which scared us a little,
strength we had to find from within.

Slowly we built our nest in this new country,
struggling against all odds to adjust and live,
falling and rising and falling again,
holding hands for suport while we settled in.

As life became simpler we understood better,
less of arguments and more of mature discussion,
silence once uncomfortable became acceptable,
sitting together quietly we exchanged our views.

You have been my saviour and my honest supporter,
inspite of few words your actions say it all,
a day without you seems so depressing and tough,
in you i found everything and i love you so much…

 

The touch of a child…

Women as far as i have noticed love kids.Be it their own or someone else’s. Though i belong to the same sex have never felt as close or attracted to children in the past.I know they are cute,adorable but on many occasions i have found myself in a very uncomfortable position when in close proximity with kids. I just am helpless and don’t know what to do!!!All this changed when my darling nephew came home.He is just a little above 2 years old and not as naughty as many kids.His talks,his gestures infact everything about him made my heart melt. That was when i realised what it means to be around a kid.He is now back home and we all miss him so much.Each day i think about him,his small hands,his very own pronunciation which we sometimes mimic.Thank you my dear for making me feel somthing i never knew i had within.

 

Sleepy after a long flight and shy too,
you clung to daddy and refused to come to us,
crying to go home you broke our hearts so,
we were waiting so long for you my darling.

Soon you settled in and made us smile,
running around without a break in the house,
pooping, peeing in your diapers letting daddy know,
every little thing you did was so endearing.

Your wake up calls meant day had set in,
breakfast and tea soon please you seemed to say,
no fuss in eating it was so easy to feed you,
we were in awe of you my sweet sweet nephew.

Fireman Sam on the Ipad was your favourite passtime,
you knew most of the characters in the series,
Sam Please you said and it was an order to switch on,
complete concentration on screen when it was playing.

The sounds you made of a rocket,firetruck was so cute,
the roar of a lion so loud when you were in mood,
rickshaws,cars and buses you loved to see passing by,
a whole new world you showed us in those few days.

I loved to feed you and sit beside just observing you,
wanting to hug and play with you whole day,
grandpa and grandma poured all their love on you,
your affection for daddy so complete and emotional.

Now you are back to the place you call home,
your innocence,your laughter still resonating here,
our hearts hold memories abundant and so priceless,  
you are just the child i hope to bear some day …
 
 

 

A namesake survivor…

 

He was a young man once,
with dreams and desires like all of us,
hoping to achieve something someday,
wishing to reach the moon.

 

His life changed,he got married,
dreams took a backseat,money came first,
leaving home in search of green pastures,
thoughts of family always on his mind.

 

Kids were born but he was hardly around,
seeing them once in a while as he worked so hard,
striving to survive and prosper for their better future,
waiting in desperation to go back for good.

 

Children all grownup and settled with family,
wife ill and unable to move around much,
he came back to chaos and so much uncertainity,
after years of struggle he wished for peace of mind.

 

He found himself looking after his grandkids,
running around even though not young anymore,
brushing away his own pain and agony,
he smiled and managed it all.

 

So old now he can hardly move on his own,
still trying to look after himself without any help,
in times like these when children should be beside,
he is all alone, a survivor in this bad,cruel world!!!

 

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