My life as i see it …..

I have always been open and blunt about what i wrote or felt. It may sound too harsh or downright rude to some but this is how i am. I have observed different kinds of people in daily life and some of them have made an impression however bad or worse 😦 . Here i mention one such person who was a close friend( or atleast i thought so then). She was someone i played with as a child and grew up with. Just a couple of years older than me i sort of looked upto her as any kid would. Here is my story as i see it. Its not some cheerful anecdote as some would prefer. But life isn’t all rosy you see.

 

We lived in the same society and played together as kids. She had a working mother and a doting protective elder brother who kept her rebellion in check. We went to the same school though she was in a higher class. She would come home to a locked house while my mother would be waiting with a smile for me. Her daily meal would be curd rice with beetroot. My mother would welcome her home and feed her like her own daughter. She was well aware of her likes and dislikes. Never once have i heard her complaining about having to cook for an extra person. This continued till she finished school and moved to college. She stopped coming home and we stopped playing together.

 

I would bump into her off and on but we were like strangers. I always would wonder why my mother went to such pains to give something when all she got was a cold shoulder. Perhaps if she had fed an animal she would have received some gratitude and a wagging tail of joy.

 

I had almost forgotten about this friend of mine till years later i happened to visit the city she resided in. Some old memories came to the fore and i decided to try and catch up with her. Not having her number i called her mother and spoke to my friend too. She sounded all excited and promised to drop in the next day to meet me. Being overjoyed myself, I told all in my family that i would be meeting my long lost friend the next day.

 

The next day dawned bright and sunny just like my mood. I waited for her but she dint turn up. If memory serves me right i ended up calling and was informed that she was out. I can’t explain the feelings that went through when i was told this. All i wanted was to meet her, talk about our childhood, have some fun. Perhaps she wanted no part in this.

 

I returned promising myself never ever to contact her again. They say you must try your best to mend relationships. But non one tells you what to do if the other person doesn’t wish to. Do you ever forget those people who were there for you when you were alone, hungry, in need of human touch? Do you just ignore those who stood by you and accepted you as part of their family inspite of being a stranger? Do you move on and wipe away all those memories which remind you that once you had no one to open the door for you? Does it not bother you that the very people who smiled at you when you were wanting someone are the ones whom you turn your back on??

 

I try to place myself in her shoes and find it nearly impossible to forget all those who have been a part of my life as a guiding force, a shoulder to cry on, my strength when i was falling, my family when my loved ones were not around, my friends when i needed someone to confide in. It is easy for one to walk away but then there will be that strange feeling deep down that perhaps what you did was not right.

 

I am still waiting for the day when my friend will walk upto me and smile just like old times. Can she forget how i was her messenger when she had her first crush?? I can’t…

 

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